The semester I graduated college, one of my senior projects was creating a dance work - this means choosing the dancers, making the choreography, choosing the lighting, the costumes, the music - basically everything and anything conceptually and physically that would aid me in the "dance world". Naturally, I chose to create a piece about the process of healing - as that is something I know about. Scraping yourself off the pavement and standing back on your own two feet is never easy, but the best of us do it all the time. That was what my dance was about. (By the way, it rocked...)
We, as seniors about to graduate, had to leave a word of advice for underclassmen about stepping out into the real world. Mine went something along the lines of this: "It's a long journey, so back a big lunch for champions - because that's what you are, a champion." Granted, pretty hokey, and it got a lot of laughs and a lot of rolled eyes, but I meant it. And I think that's where I am right now.
These days, I don't know how to feel about anything. About my dancing, about the job(s) I have to pay the bills (right now I work at a restaurant and do choreography on the side) - I don't how I feel about my life right now. It's all so new, and so different than the black hole that has seem to consume me and the people I have loved in my life. I am having a phenomenal life right now. I get to think about dance (also known as, "the biz") all the time. My body is fully loaded with physical homework as I try to perfect ballet technique. I am forever tired, but forever smiling. People here have really taken to me, and it's been really nice to be me.
And so, I know the destination - I've thought about "making it big" and what kind of person I'll have to be, and the choices I think will be wise to make when that happens. But I'm not that person yet; I'm on the journey to that. And for someone who does a lot of planning, I'm really flying by the seat of my pants right now - and it looks like for the next couple of months. And I guess I trust I'll end up where I think I should - but it's pretty insane not to know what the hell is going to happen, but at the same time, expect it to be something pretty fucking great. I am inspired, and excited, and astounded that life could have ever taken such a turn.
I think, if you are reading this, know that I trust where I am right now. And when you get to a place where you have to take it day by day, and all you can do is pray it'll be better - it's ok not to know what the fuck is going on. Trust where you're at. I think that as long as you stay positive, but still do what you need to to take care of yourself and your own - you'll come out on top.
So here's to eating some of that big lunch we packed for champions - because I think you'd agree - we are indeed, champions.
2.24.2008
2.16.2008
Teamwork makes The Dream work
So today what I want to discuss - is Teamwork. Teamwork, being one's support system (i.e. close friends and family). I affectionately refer to these people as my inner circle. These are the people who know pretty much everything about me: past, present, and future (as generally, they possess the foresight to see how I'm going to deal with upcoming situations.) I think that in living a life that fulfills all that one wants, it's important to realize that you are only as good as your team of people. In the months I had sold my soul to a cubicle, I hold these people responsible for keeping me sane and strengthen. I have the best inner circle praying can buy - and everyday I feel sincere gratitude to have the kind of people I do, helping me manage my life. They rock.
In the past week, I have spoken to pretty much all of the major players, with exception to a very few. I am the major initiator of most of my relationships, (a) because I like to control what stays in and stays out of my life, and (b) because I know I am truly lost without people telling me to get over myself and do whatever it is that I need to do maintain balance. I have friends who aren't afraid to question my motives or my ideas. These people are also always more than willing to give their endless ear as I desperately verbally recount my life choices. These people have lent me their car when I had no mode of transportation, but had work; they have let me crash on their couches and beds for days on end without telling me to get lost; they have given me money to keep me from being hungry and also made sure that I'm not made out of social activities because I couldn't afford it. This was key for me when I was putting myself through school. My friends would always say, "don't worry about the bill, just come out with us, we'll cover you." If you have a support system like this than you probably know the gratitude I feel. If you don't have a support system like this - it behooves you to get to know kind-hearted, intelligent people. If you feel a bit envious, you should - teamwork is what makes the dream work.
In Good to Great by Jim Collins, Collins recounts several companies that started out as pretty decent business endeavors that shot up to become the leading companies in their respected fields. These companies include Kroger, Walgreens, Pitney-Bowes, and the like. It's an excellent read, I sincerely recommend it. He has many awesome ideas backed up by extensive research. (Seriously, Google him or visit his website.) His first idea about business though is so prevalent to this idea of an awesome support system. He calls it "getting the right people on the bus." Basically, he infers that great companies have great people working for them, and that before these companies came up with what would make them allstars (like before Kroger thought about becoming a mass supermarket or Walgreens thought about becoming the most convenient place to shop 365 days a year) - they first spent their energy getting good people on the bus. Collins says, "these companies didn't know where where the bus was headed, but with the right people, it generally could go some place great". And so it is with my inner circle.
On the onset of the nine months I spent at home not dancing, trying to salvage my broken life, and saving to make my move to Arkansas, I was afflicted with the falling out of a good friend of mine. It was horrible, we didn't speak to each other for eight of those nine months - and in those nine months, I personally was going through a whole bunch of crap (my grandfather passed, my dream looked as if it was dying, I felt extremely caged, etc..). At first, I was just angry, and content holding the anger.But I kept realizing that she was good people, and that for me, it was best to let go of my frustration and be patient until time healed our wounds. It was a lot of work... like a lot... like I was having rage attacks that would hit me out of nowhere. But I held on to the love of friendship, and I proud to still include her in my inner circle, even after our spat.
As I continue this journey, I am meeting many people, and finding that I have a gift for connecting with people almost instantly. This rocks, because if people who meet me face to face like me, maybe the public will also take to me (and that would be awesome for the career). I do want to share with people who read what I have say that I think that "getting the right people on the bus" is the best thing anybody can do for themselves. Surrounding yourself with people who are emotionally balanced, intelligent, intuitive, ambitious in their own right, and kind is super smart - especially since some of those great qualities rub off. I would not be anything without my people - and if they are reading this - I hope your smiling knowing I'm talking about you!
In the past week, I have spoken to pretty much all of the major players, with exception to a very few. I am the major initiator of most of my relationships, (a) because I like to control what stays in and stays out of my life, and (b) because I know I am truly lost without people telling me to get over myself and do whatever it is that I need to do maintain balance. I have friends who aren't afraid to question my motives or my ideas. These people are also always more than willing to give their endless ear as I desperately verbally recount my life choices. These people have lent me their car when I had no mode of transportation, but had work; they have let me crash on their couches and beds for days on end without telling me to get lost; they have given me money to keep me from being hungry and also made sure that I'm not made out of social activities because I couldn't afford it. This was key for me when I was putting myself through school. My friends would always say, "don't worry about the bill, just come out with us, we'll cover you." If you have a support system like this than you probably know the gratitude I feel. If you don't have a support system like this - it behooves you to get to know kind-hearted, intelligent people. If you feel a bit envious, you should - teamwork is what makes the dream work.
In Good to Great by Jim Collins, Collins recounts several companies that started out as pretty decent business endeavors that shot up to become the leading companies in their respected fields. These companies include Kroger, Walgreens, Pitney-Bowes, and the like. It's an excellent read, I sincerely recommend it. He has many awesome ideas backed up by extensive research. (Seriously, Google him or visit his website.) His first idea about business though is so prevalent to this idea of an awesome support system. He calls it "getting the right people on the bus." Basically, he infers that great companies have great people working for them, and that before these companies came up with what would make them allstars (like before Kroger thought about becoming a mass supermarket or Walgreens thought about becoming the most convenient place to shop 365 days a year) - they first spent their energy getting good people on the bus. Collins says, "these companies didn't know where where the bus was headed, but with the right people, it generally could go some place great". And so it is with my inner circle.
On the onset of the nine months I spent at home not dancing, trying to salvage my broken life, and saving to make my move to Arkansas, I was afflicted with the falling out of a good friend of mine. It was horrible, we didn't speak to each other for eight of those nine months - and in those nine months, I personally was going through a whole bunch of crap (my grandfather passed, my dream looked as if it was dying, I felt extremely caged, etc..). At first, I was just angry, and content holding the anger.But I kept realizing that she was good people, and that for me, it was best to let go of my frustration and be patient until time healed our wounds. It was a lot of work... like a lot... like I was having rage attacks that would hit me out of nowhere. But I held on to the love of friendship, and I proud to still include her in my inner circle, even after our spat.
As I continue this journey, I am meeting many people, and finding that I have a gift for connecting with people almost instantly. This rocks, because if people who meet me face to face like me, maybe the public will also take to me (and that would be awesome for the career). I do want to share with people who read what I have say that I think that "getting the right people on the bus" is the best thing anybody can do for themselves. Surrounding yourself with people who are emotionally balanced, intelligent, intuitive, ambitious in their own right, and kind is super smart - especially since some of those great qualities rub off. I would not be anything without my people - and if they are reading this - I hope your smiling knowing I'm talking about you!
2.08.2008
Island Jumping
It's like you've been stranded on an island, and you finally get the balls to believe you might be able to string up a raft and set sail for the next prosperous island over. So finally, after spending a lot of time of mulling it over in your brain, you finally decide to trust your vision of grandeur. And in doing so, you begin to abandon your life as you know it, and before you know it, everything has changed and you are surfing in unfamiliar waters, and while you imagine yourself getting over to the next island over, you stop paddling long enough to realize that you're too far from the shore to turn back, and to keep going means to basically exhaust all your efforts: mentally, physically, and spiritually. And then the terror washes over you, and I know how you feel - we're probably thinking the same thought... "Oh Shit..."
This is where I am at. I have done the unthinkable: picked up my life and moved to pursue the dream. But as the novelty from the success of my big move wears off, I am now at the point where I can see clearly how much fucking work I have ahead of me. And yes, there are now many times a day when I think to myself, "what the fuck have I gotten myself into?"
To be a dancer requires an extreme knowledge of what the human body can do. This knowledge doesn't just include understanding the muscles, it is much more intimate than that. Your job as a dancer becomes understanding what your muscles can do. Dancers ask themselves, how high can I lift my leg and with what quality of movement? (One day I will explain what quality of movement means.) A dancer's job entails knowing when and with what force they'll need to soar through the air. What does it mean to have the strength to this. It's a series of endless questions that eludes most dancers all the time. Throw another person in there, like a partner, and it becomes utter chaos as the dancer's job becomes to not only "get" their body, but the other person's body as well. Yep, it's as hard as it sounds...
So that's where I'm at. But it's cool, helps me realize I'm human. Helps me tone down all the excitement of all that's happening, and center myself and focus. I do have a lot of work to do - but that's ok. My take on living is this: we all have to spend each day doing something - generally working our asses off. I think it wise to work not for your job, not just to pay the bills, or feed the kids, but to really make the work about setting up yourself to be happy (and hopefully, paying the bills and feeding the kiddos also makes you happy). I think that at the end of this, I will have done myself a great service. And no matter how much works it takes... isn't it worth it?
This is where I am at. I have done the unthinkable: picked up my life and moved to pursue the dream. But as the novelty from the success of my big move wears off, I am now at the point where I can see clearly how much fucking work I have ahead of me. And yes, there are now many times a day when I think to myself, "what the fuck have I gotten myself into?"
To be a dancer requires an extreme knowledge of what the human body can do. This knowledge doesn't just include understanding the muscles, it is much more intimate than that. Your job as a dancer becomes understanding what your muscles can do. Dancers ask themselves, how high can I lift my leg and with what quality of movement? (One day I will explain what quality of movement means.) A dancer's job entails knowing when and with what force they'll need to soar through the air. What does it mean to have the strength to this. It's a series of endless questions that eludes most dancers all the time. Throw another person in there, like a partner, and it becomes utter chaos as the dancer's job becomes to not only "get" their body, but the other person's body as well. Yep, it's as hard as it sounds...
So that's where I'm at. But it's cool, helps me realize I'm human. Helps me tone down all the excitement of all that's happening, and center myself and focus. I do have a lot of work to do - but that's ok. My take on living is this: we all have to spend each day doing something - generally working our asses off. I think it wise to work not for your job, not just to pay the bills, or feed the kids, but to really make the work about setting up yourself to be happy (and hopefully, paying the bills and feeding the kiddos also makes you happy). I think that at the end of this, I will have done myself a great service. And no matter how much works it takes... isn't it worth it?
1.31.2008
And Now For a Bit of Polish
Well, that went well. I'm not at liberty to discuss it but I'm thinking you really should tune in to your local Fox network this summer.
So, I feel like I'm on vacation. Like at summer camp (except it's f*-ing cold). After ending my days as a corporate hamster, I have moved to Little Rock in pursuit of excellent, polished, badass dancing. I have come to study with a mentor of mine. We'll call her (as I call her) "Miss A". Miss A is a classical ballet aficionado. She is, in my opinion, the best thing to happen to anybody who studies ballet technique. Now, a lot of ballet dancers may not agree with all of her ideas and methods - but we will deal with them after I make my millions...
To catch you up if you, yourself, are not a dance junkie, ballet dancers have many "styles" and "techniques" to choose from to execute ballet movement. Wikipedia: classical ballet to catch yourself up. Understandably, there are many different lines of thought then when it comes to execution of ballet. Some people say the leg should do this, some say it should look that that, some prefer this kind of extension - and it's not that they're is one way of doing things, there are many ways to do practically the same movement. Unless you're talking to Miss A. Miss A's approach to ballet technique (ballet being the supreme elite dance technique in all the world - I can barely do ballet, and I still think this) is that there is only one way to execute all movement possibilities. That is, literally working from an anatomically aligned position (held through built musculature) in which the pelvis hangs straight up and down - so that basically you can put the arms, legs, torso, and head anywhere you want to. Just like playing tag when you're a kid - when you know where base is (base being anatomically aligned with a stable pelvis) you can do whatever you want to with your body. If you get lost (i.e. can't perform a movement possibility like high extensions, or a super arabesque, or a badass jump) just come back to base.
So that all might be lost on you, which is fine - you don't really need to know any of that. But I do. I pretty much plan on being a major breadwinner for whatever family I plan on having down the line, and since I want to dance, I need to know my shit. And that means knowing my instrument. And that means knowing my body. And that means more than just dancing for art's sake. It means scientifically being able to count on my body to do amazing things. April will be my next milestone in my career, and the next time to check to see how my plan is coming along. It's painful to be dancing all the time, and be literally deconstructing how my body works - but honestly, I wouldn't haven't any other way.
As far as 2008 - so far, so good...
So, I feel like I'm on vacation. Like at summer camp (except it's f*-ing cold). After ending my days as a corporate hamster, I have moved to Little Rock in pursuit of excellent, polished, badass dancing. I have come to study with a mentor of mine. We'll call her (as I call her) "Miss A". Miss A is a classical ballet aficionado. She is, in my opinion, the best thing to happen to anybody who studies ballet technique. Now, a lot of ballet dancers may not agree with all of her ideas and methods - but we will deal with them after I make my millions...
To catch you up if you, yourself, are not a dance junkie, ballet dancers have many "styles" and "techniques" to choose from to execute ballet movement. Wikipedia: classical ballet to catch yourself up. Understandably, there are many different lines of thought then when it comes to execution of ballet. Some people say the leg should do this, some say it should look that that, some prefer this kind of extension - and it's not that they're is one way of doing things, there are many ways to do practically the same movement. Unless you're talking to Miss A. Miss A's approach to ballet technique (ballet being the supreme elite dance technique in all the world - I can barely do ballet, and I still think this) is that there is only one way to execute all movement possibilities. That is, literally working from an anatomically aligned position (held through built musculature) in which the pelvis hangs straight up and down - so that basically you can put the arms, legs, torso, and head anywhere you want to. Just like playing tag when you're a kid - when you know where base is (base being anatomically aligned with a stable pelvis) you can do whatever you want to with your body. If you get lost (i.e. can't perform a movement possibility like high extensions, or a super arabesque, or a badass jump) just come back to base.
So that all might be lost on you, which is fine - you don't really need to know any of that. But I do. I pretty much plan on being a major breadwinner for whatever family I plan on having down the line, and since I want to dance, I need to know my shit. And that means knowing my instrument. And that means knowing my body. And that means more than just dancing for art's sake. It means scientifically being able to count on my body to do amazing things. April will be my next milestone in my career, and the next time to check to see how my plan is coming along. It's painful to be dancing all the time, and be literally deconstructing how my body works - but honestly, I wouldn't haven't any other way.
As far as 2008 - so far, so good...
1.16.2008
So... big audition tomorrow.
So.... big audition tomorrow.
I don't know what it is.. if it's the 20 degree weather, the thousands of other dancers that will be there, the cut throat producers, or the hours of sitting around just to have 20 seconds in front of the judges - but I'm so excited. I think the audition is going to go well. I'm pretty sure I'm going to score yet another trip to Vegas for callbacks (per tab of the television network that hosts the show). I won't be able to announce it on this blog when I get it - but let's just say - I'm pretty hopeful. And that's all you get to know about the show - tune in and watch Summer 2008.. most likely - I'm gonna need your vote!
I'm actually doing this audition en route to Little Rock, Arkansas - where I will be training/ being a guest artist with a ballet company there. It's a great opportunity and a great business move (as you if you know me, you know while I make a good artist, I make a better business tycoon). So far so good in 2008. Things are going pretty much the way I have decided they should go - and it feels very refreshing to be able to guide my life. I think discovering that you do have some control over your life is so beneficial. I think so often, life is a bitch (and then you die) and we got caught up in what circumstance says, and get surprised by the unexpected. But I think, if you can look past the whole "life's not fair" idea, and just kinda go with your gut and do what you know will serve you and the people you come into contact with best, life becomes more than just surviving the next big problem. I don't know about you - but I want life to be an experience. Don't you?
We're all going to die anyway (sorry it's true) and when I go out... hopefully, many, many years from now - I want to look back on my life and say, "yeah, I had the balls to do that" and "yeah, that experience was f*ing awesome" and "that turned out to be a blast". I'm coming to a place where I feel like it's my personal responsibility to ensure I have a badass life. Yes, we are all aware that life happens, that people die or get sick, or that circumstance changes. Yeah, talk to anybody who has lived and I am sure they can tell you about a "valley of the shadow of death" or two (or seventeen). But beyond that - I want people to understand that as a human being, as a thinking, moving, breathing organism - you are able to set up life the way you want. As long as you don't mind working hard, getting in there and doing all the hard shit, putting in the elbow grease (i.e. quitting the job you hate, leaving the unhealthy relationship, standing on your own two feet, pursuing you passion/ purpose) - you can do anything.
And I'm going to prove it to anybody who knows me... starting tomorrow.
I don't know what it is.. if it's the 20 degree weather, the thousands of other dancers that will be there, the cut throat producers, or the hours of sitting around just to have 20 seconds in front of the judges - but I'm so excited. I think the audition is going to go well. I'm pretty sure I'm going to score yet another trip to Vegas for callbacks (per tab of the television network that hosts the show). I won't be able to announce it on this blog when I get it - but let's just say - I'm pretty hopeful. And that's all you get to know about the show - tune in and watch Summer 2008.. most likely - I'm gonna need your vote!
I'm actually doing this audition en route to Little Rock, Arkansas - where I will be training/ being a guest artist with a ballet company there. It's a great opportunity and a great business move (as you if you know me, you know while I make a good artist, I make a better business tycoon). So far so good in 2008. Things are going pretty much the way I have decided they should go - and it feels very refreshing to be able to guide my life. I think discovering that you do have some control over your life is so beneficial. I think so often, life is a bitch (and then you die) and we got caught up in what circumstance says, and get surprised by the unexpected. But I think, if you can look past the whole "life's not fair" idea, and just kinda go with your gut and do what you know will serve you and the people you come into contact with best, life becomes more than just surviving the next big problem. I don't know about you - but I want life to be an experience. Don't you?
We're all going to die anyway (sorry it's true) and when I go out... hopefully, many, many years from now - I want to look back on my life and say, "yeah, I had the balls to do that" and "yeah, that experience was f*ing awesome" and "that turned out to be a blast". I'm coming to a place where I feel like it's my personal responsibility to ensure I have a badass life. Yes, we are all aware that life happens, that people die or get sick, or that circumstance changes. Yeah, talk to anybody who has lived and I am sure they can tell you about a "valley of the shadow of death" or two (or seventeen). But beyond that - I want people to understand that as a human being, as a thinking, moving, breathing organism - you are able to set up life the way you want. As long as you don't mind working hard, getting in there and doing all the hard shit, putting in the elbow grease (i.e. quitting the job you hate, leaving the unhealthy relationship, standing on your own two feet, pursuing you passion/ purpose) - you can do anything.
And I'm going to prove it to anybody who knows me... starting tomorrow.
1.13.2008
1.10.2008
Did someone say Friction?
You know what's really fucked up?
When days before you are to experience a "supposed" life breakthrough, right about the time you would be putting the finishing touches on an astounding life transformation, you instead become super ill. (Pauses typing to cough up left lung). That's right folks, after all that "do what you love and get paid for it" and getting myself jazzed up to go and live the dream, I have to stay put long enough to get over whatever viral concoction my lungs are incubating. Imagine, if you will, me - a portrait of the American Dream - going out there to kick ass and take names. Except in this very pressing time, when I need to be focusing on strategizing my hostile take over of the dance world - all I can do is sit and focus on my breathing. Anytime I walk farther than 3 feet, I have to grab my inhaler and try to gain control over my asthma (which has flared up due to the viral infection in my lungs). It sucks - to need to be a rockstar when you feel like a chump. It's another practical joke life plays on us.
I don't appreciate life's twisted version of Murphy's law regarding my audition next week. All, I'm saying - kinda fucked up...
However, as a strategist, "friction" (as is the name given for any situation or circumstance that arises unexpectedly and can trump your plan) is to be expected, and to be fair, I am playing a game against life. It's objective, to beat me - to defeat me. My objective, to overcome and manhandle life myself. It does us no good to get angry when things don't go the way we planned. I often hope things don't go the way I planned - I instead hope things go way better than I planned. That is the perspective I always try to look at when "friction" arises. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger... well what doesn't stop you - only really aids you....
So I had a solo prepared for next week... I stopped liking it. I chucked it. So now I'm sick and I have no solo - but I have a feeling, that since I put the pressure on, something fabulous will breed itself out of me. I'm kinda glad to be the way that I am. I just don't feel like playing by anybody's rules - or doing things a certain way. If life doesn't play by the rules... why should I?
When days before you are to experience a "supposed" life breakthrough, right about the time you would be putting the finishing touches on an astounding life transformation, you instead become super ill. (Pauses typing to cough up left lung). That's right folks, after all that "do what you love and get paid for it" and getting myself jazzed up to go and live the dream, I have to stay put long enough to get over whatever viral concoction my lungs are incubating. Imagine, if you will, me - a portrait of the American Dream - going out there to kick ass and take names. Except in this very pressing time, when I need to be focusing on strategizing my hostile take over of the dance world - all I can do is sit and focus on my breathing. Anytime I walk farther than 3 feet, I have to grab my inhaler and try to gain control over my asthma (which has flared up due to the viral infection in my lungs). It sucks - to need to be a rockstar when you feel like a chump. It's another practical joke life plays on us.
I don't appreciate life's twisted version of Murphy's law regarding my audition next week. All, I'm saying - kinda fucked up...
However, as a strategist, "friction" (as is the name given for any situation or circumstance that arises unexpectedly and can trump your plan) is to be expected, and to be fair, I am playing a game against life. It's objective, to beat me - to defeat me. My objective, to overcome and manhandle life myself. It does us no good to get angry when things don't go the way we planned. I often hope things don't go the way I planned - I instead hope things go way better than I planned. That is the perspective I always try to look at when "friction" arises. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger... well what doesn't stop you - only really aids you....
So I had a solo prepared for next week... I stopped liking it. I chucked it. So now I'm sick and I have no solo - but I have a feeling, that since I put the pressure on, something fabulous will breed itself out of me. I'm kinda glad to be the way that I am. I just don't feel like playing by anybody's rules - or doing things a certain way. If life doesn't play by the rules... why should I?
1.05.2008
Mission 2008: Dance Like Everyone's Watching
I spent the day at the Monsters of Hip Hop Dance Convention.
I arrived at the hotel this morning at 7:30 am. Hip-hop dance convention... here we go. In the short time I have been a dancer, I have never really participated in a dance convention. For those of you who aren't dance savvy, many dancers - especially if they've been dancing since their early toddler years, go to these dance conventions for years on end. Some of these dance conventions are lyrical (see: studio dance), some are jazz (see: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders) some are "professional" (see: Alvin Ailey) some are what I participated in today (see: You Got Served). As a late bloomer (in terms of my dancing; I started when I was 19) I was fully unprepared for being schooled by trained 12 year olds. I knew I was being trumped by Johnny-Goode PowerRanger when during one of the dance combinations this one little boy actually got all up in my space, stepped in front of me and got all Stomp-the-Yard and shit. Nothing prepares a person, even at young and strapping 24 years old, to be topped by someone in their chosen career that can't even drive yet. Fuckin' A.....
And let's talk about careers (well, at least mine). Stay tuned in the next couple of weeks, I have some really awesome things lined up. This week I'm doing the hip hop convention. Next week I finally will quit my run on the corporate hamster wheel. The week after that, I am auditioning for a prominent dance reality show (that will remain nameless). Two days after that I am going to Arkansas to study/perform with a ballet company based out of Little Rock - and that's where I'll be through the spring. In my opinion, I'm getting old enough to start making some things happen regarding my dance career. Yes, there is much to be said for dance and other art forms that express a person's ideas on society or relationships or the inner workings of us as human beings. But I have a lot to say about friggin paycheck. I just want to do what I love - and get paid for it. I want to do what I believe I should because I have a passion for it - and get paid for it. I am not above saying "Someone, anyone send me a fucking paycheck."
Someone.... anyone.... send me a fucking paycheck.
(Taps on the computer keyboard while waiting for the phone to ring with somebody offering $100,000 for performing for the masses)
Well, phone didn't ring. Which is reality, people don't just send paychecks. But I can go get one. And so can you. My challenge to anybody who knows me in 2008. Do what you love - and get paid for it. In my opinion, managing your income based on your passion is a vital key to balance and happiness. I spent enough time in 2007 sitting at home watching people do what I love (and get paid for it) on the television. Ain't no way I wanna relive that experience. That sucked.
Do not let someone else do what you can do better and you can do first. You owe it to yourself to do what you love and make bank doing it. (Steps off soapbox)
I arrived at the hotel this morning at 7:30 am. Hip-hop dance convention... here we go. In the short time I have been a dancer, I have never really participated in a dance convention. For those of you who aren't dance savvy, many dancers - especially if they've been dancing since their early toddler years, go to these dance conventions for years on end. Some of these dance conventions are lyrical (see: studio dance), some are jazz (see: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders) some are "professional" (see: Alvin Ailey) some are what I participated in today (see: You Got Served). As a late bloomer (in terms of my dancing; I started when I was 19) I was fully unprepared for being schooled by trained 12 year olds. I knew I was being trumped by Johnny-Goode PowerRanger when during one of the dance combinations this one little boy actually got all up in my space, stepped in front of me and got all Stomp-the-Yard and shit. Nothing prepares a person, even at young and strapping 24 years old, to be topped by someone in their chosen career that can't even drive yet. Fuckin' A.....
And let's talk about careers (well, at least mine). Stay tuned in the next couple of weeks, I have some really awesome things lined up. This week I'm doing the hip hop convention. Next week I finally will quit my run on the corporate hamster wheel. The week after that, I am auditioning for a prominent dance reality show (that will remain nameless). Two days after that I am going to Arkansas to study/perform with a ballet company based out of Little Rock - and that's where I'll be through the spring. In my opinion, I'm getting old enough to start making some things happen regarding my dance career. Yes, there is much to be said for dance and other art forms that express a person's ideas on society or relationships or the inner workings of us as human beings. But I have a lot to say about friggin paycheck. I just want to do what I love - and get paid for it. I want to do what I believe I should because I have a passion for it - and get paid for it. I am not above saying "Someone, anyone send me a fucking paycheck."
Someone.... anyone.... send me a fucking paycheck.
(Taps on the computer keyboard while waiting for the phone to ring with somebody offering $100,000 for performing for the masses)
Well, phone didn't ring. Which is reality, people don't just send paychecks. But I can go get one. And so can you. My challenge to anybody who knows me in 2008. Do what you love - and get paid for it. In my opinion, managing your income based on your passion is a vital key to balance and happiness. I spent enough time in 2007 sitting at home watching people do what I love (and get paid for it) on the television. Ain't no way I wanna relive that experience. That sucked.
Do not let someone else do what you can do better and you can do first. You owe it to yourself to do what you love and make bank doing it. (Steps off soapbox)
1.03.2008
So I quit my job Monday.
At heart, I am a story teller. Ask anybody who talks to me on a regular bases - I am always telling an ornate story about "what had happened" or a "you wouldn't believe" fabrication or often, my personal favorite, a "well I guess you had to be there" punchline. My friends rock because they just let me tell them yet another story. And so, for some time, I have been toying around with the idea of writing what I think and how I see it. And what I think I really want to share with the group - is my life's story. Seemingly, I have come to a place where I am ready to open up and tell it just like it is. (And no promises if it's gonna be "right" or "wrong".)
I want you to read about the time I spent in Salt Lake City with the Mormons, or the time I was a hair model (I now have a shaved head - as do many black/puerto rican men), or the time I got busted for holding a fraudulent car wash (in the name of the university I was attending). I want you to know about happens to a person when they go through a huge national audition, or why they seemingly turn down a good opportunity for a great opportunity (as I did when I decided not to take the job offer with the dance company in SLC). I swear I have an interesting life. (People tell me so all the time). I want you to think so too. I want to look back on what I wrote and be able to say to myself, "Now there's a man that's lived."
So I quit my job on Monday.
Well, I put in my notice. To bide my time for the last nine months of 2007, and set myself up for 2008, I took a shitty... and I mean SHITTY - job at a call center, advising employees on human resource policy. Emphasis on SHITTY. (That's enough vulgar language for now). Now before I say this next statement, you should know that I love being a rockstar at everything I lay my hands on. I love overachieving, love gold stars, love making the Presidential Honor Roll, love being the star, love being the brain, love being the jock, love being the Renaissance man - I love being THAT guy. So, as you would guess, I love being a rockstar employee. It is one of my best habits. Make thyself indispensable. But I said to myself when I took this job, "Do not shine - don't be THAT guy - you're gonna have to quit - just lay low" But then it was December, and I get an email, along with the other thousands of employees in the company, stating that I won some awards and would receive a $300 bonus for my efforts. Congratulations to Jonathan - his name is now in every Inbox in the company. My thoughts on this bonus I received? "Jonathan, that's what we call shining. THAT IS NOT LAYING LOW. How are you going to perform well for the company, get a bonus, and then just quit?"
Well, apparently like this - because I quit on Monday.
And the really funny thing was, my supervisor was super cool with it. He wanted to know all about my dancing. All about the auditions/ performances/ teaching clinics I have lined up (which for right now is through April). He told me he would have never guessed I was a dancer, and that he completely believed in "chasing the dream". This is coming from a guy, I never speak to except to ask off. (Which reminds me, I need to fill out my timesheet since instead of coming to work tomorrow, I'll be doing a hip-hop convention in Dallas, Texas).
Stay tuned (if you're even tuned in) - I hope to refine my language and style so that anyone reading will feel how I often feel. Slightly jaded, but surprisingly enthusiastic about the life they've been given.
I want you to read about the time I spent in Salt Lake City with the Mormons, or the time I was a hair model (I now have a shaved head - as do many black/puerto rican men), or the time I got busted for holding a fraudulent car wash (in the name of the university I was attending). I want you to know about happens to a person when they go through a huge national audition, or why they seemingly turn down a good opportunity for a great opportunity (as I did when I decided not to take the job offer with the dance company in SLC). I swear I have an interesting life. (People tell me so all the time). I want you to think so too. I want to look back on what I wrote and be able to say to myself, "Now there's a man that's lived."
So I quit my job on Monday.
Well, I put in my notice. To bide my time for the last nine months of 2007, and set myself up for 2008, I took a shitty... and I mean SHITTY - job at a call center, advising employees on human resource policy. Emphasis on SHITTY. (That's enough vulgar language for now). Now before I say this next statement, you should know that I love being a rockstar at everything I lay my hands on. I love overachieving, love gold stars, love making the Presidential Honor Roll, love being the star, love being the brain, love being the jock, love being the Renaissance man - I love being THAT guy. So, as you would guess, I love being a rockstar employee. It is one of my best habits. Make thyself indispensable. But I said to myself when I took this job, "Do not shine - don't be THAT guy - you're gonna have to quit - just lay low" But then it was December, and I get an email, along with the other thousands of employees in the company, stating that I won some awards and would receive a $300 bonus for my efforts. Congratulations to Jonathan - his name is now in every Inbox in the company. My thoughts on this bonus I received? "Jonathan, that's what we call shining. THAT IS NOT LAYING LOW. How are you going to perform well for the company, get a bonus, and then just quit?"
Well, apparently like this - because I quit on Monday.
And the really funny thing was, my supervisor was super cool with it. He wanted to know all about my dancing. All about the auditions/ performances/ teaching clinics I have lined up (which for right now is through April). He told me he would have never guessed I was a dancer, and that he completely believed in "chasing the dream". This is coming from a guy, I never speak to except to ask off. (Which reminds me, I need to fill out my timesheet since instead of coming to work tomorrow, I'll be doing a hip-hop convention in Dallas, Texas).
Stay tuned (if you're even tuned in) - I hope to refine my language and style so that anyone reading will feel how I often feel. Slightly jaded, but surprisingly enthusiastic about the life they've been given.
12.28.2007
The gift of Giving
I found myself insulted on Christmas morning when I unwrapped my gift given to me by my mother. The gift itself (Old Navy jeans that fit my ass like a glove) did not insult me; it was the passive aggressive comment from my mother that accompanied the gift: "I really can't stand your jeans. They're all tattered and sloppy. So I bought you jeans." And, I wouldn't have an issue with this... if it hadn't been Christmas. You wanna send me a hint and buy me nicer pair of jeans - that doesn't bother me - EXCEPT ON CHRISTMAS - Where we celebrate a season of giving, as in denying our own thoughts, as in we give people a little bit more of what they want and say a little less about what we think. Christmas is the perfect time to shut ourselves up by filling out mouths with home cookin' and candy. After all, always telling people exactly what you think (whether or not they asked to hear your unbridled opinion) is exhausting. Everyone should take a holiday from excessive "here's what I think you need." How about you get people something they really need for change, like an open ear...
Now my mother is a saint, and still has no idea, nor can even fathom that a I would find her gift giving insulting. See to me, it's about choices. My mother's choice of a gift kinda ticks me off. My mother could have chose to buy me a slew (yes, a slew) of other things that would have made me ecstatic. I'm so easy - buy me something, anything I want: Milkduds, Dr. Pepper, gift cards or any other reasons to buy stuff on someone else's tab, anything artistic, anything having to do with fitness, any kind of music, movies, or pop culture - I'm like the easiest person to shop for. My only request - that you buy my gift with the thought that I actually will want your gift.
We, as humans, do this all the time: insult each other without meaning to do so. Because in our heads, we believe we have awesome ideas - and everyone should listen. And so we talk at people, never paying attention to if anyone cares about what we're saying, or if we're even saying or doing anything relevant. Have you ever heard yourself talk? Chances are that most of time, you are the most interested in what you have to say. Which is fine - I love hearing myself gab. My friends are really great because they just let me talk on and on and on. But there comes a point that we need to realize that other people need to be heard too. And this doesn't only apply to using words. How often are we so busy that we aren't paying attention to the people in our lives? We've got so much going on in our heads, we don't pay attention to people's body language and attitude towards life. We misread other's depression as they're being tired, or decide that because they walk and talk happy, it must be true. We are a self-involved species - ever declaring ourselves kings of a kingdom we can't fully grasp or control (see: Hurricane Katrina and/or Noah's Flood). I believe it to be a human condition to want the most out of life, but in doing so, we step over each other in the process - as if living life is a race we can win or lose. And while, it may be possible to triumph or fail in the game of life, it's wise to realize you need not step over or "beat" anybody else to do it.
So, here's to choosing to love your fellow (wo)man. Here's to trying to be better listener's. Here's to giving people the gifts they actually want. Here's to being selfish to demand what you want (Milkduds, Dr. Pepper, and gift cards) and selfless enough to give up a part of yourself on behalf of others (it's ok mom - I forgive you, my jeans do fit my ass like a glove...)
Now my mother is a saint, and still has no idea, nor can even fathom that a I would find her gift giving insulting. See to me, it's about choices. My mother's choice of a gift kinda ticks me off. My mother could have chose to buy me a slew (yes, a slew) of other things that would have made me ecstatic. I'm so easy - buy me something, anything I want: Milkduds, Dr. Pepper, gift cards or any other reasons to buy stuff on someone else's tab, anything artistic, anything having to do with fitness, any kind of music, movies, or pop culture - I'm like the easiest person to shop for. My only request - that you buy my gift with the thought that I actually will want your gift.
We, as humans, do this all the time: insult each other without meaning to do so. Because in our heads, we believe we have awesome ideas - and everyone should listen. And so we talk at people, never paying attention to if anyone cares about what we're saying, or if we're even saying or doing anything relevant. Have you ever heard yourself talk? Chances are that most of time, you are the most interested in what you have to say. Which is fine - I love hearing myself gab. My friends are really great because they just let me talk on and on and on. But there comes a point that we need to realize that other people need to be heard too. And this doesn't only apply to using words. How often are we so busy that we aren't paying attention to the people in our lives? We've got so much going on in our heads, we don't pay attention to people's body language and attitude towards life. We misread other's depression as they're being tired, or decide that because they walk and talk happy, it must be true. We are a self-involved species - ever declaring ourselves kings of a kingdom we can't fully grasp or control (see: Hurricane Katrina and/or Noah's Flood). I believe it to be a human condition to want the most out of life, but in doing so, we step over each other in the process - as if living life is a race we can win or lose. And while, it may be possible to triumph or fail in the game of life, it's wise to realize you need not step over or "beat" anybody else to do it.
So, here's to choosing to love your fellow (wo)man. Here's to trying to be better listener's. Here's to giving people the gifts they actually want. Here's to being selfish to demand what you want (Milkduds, Dr. Pepper, and gift cards) and selfless enough to give up a part of yourself on behalf of others (it's ok mom - I forgive you, my jeans do fit my ass like a glove...)
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