The gift of Giving

I found myself insulted on Christmas morning when I unwrapped my gift given to me by my mother. The gift itself (Old Navy jeans that fit my ass like a glove) did not insult me; it was the passive aggressive comment from my mother that accompanied the gift: "I really can't stand your jeans. They're all tattered and sloppy. So I bought you jeans." And, I wouldn't have an issue with this... if it hadn't been Christmas. You wanna send me a hint and buy me nicer pair of jeans - that doesn't bother me - EXCEPT ON CHRISTMAS - Where we celebrate a season of giving, as in denying our own thoughts, as in we give people a little bit more of what they want and say a little less about what we think. Christmas is the perfect time to shut ourselves up by filling out mouths with home cookin' and candy. After all, always telling people exactly what you think (whether or not they asked to hear your unbridled opinion) is exhausting. Everyone should take a holiday from excessive "here's what I think you need." How about you get people something they really need for change, like an open ear...

Now my mother is a saint, and still has no idea, nor can even fathom that a I would find her gift giving insulting. See to me, it's about choices. My mother's choice of a gift kinda ticks me off. My mother could have chose to buy me a slew (yes, a slew) of other things that would have made me ecstatic. I'm so easy - buy me something, anything I want: Milkduds, Dr. Pepper, gift cards or any other reasons to buy stuff on someone else's tab, anything artistic, anything having to do with fitness, any kind of music, movies, or pop culture - I'm like the easiest person to shop for. My only request - that you buy my gift with the thought that I actually will want your gift.

We, as humans, do this all the time: insult each other without meaning to do so. Because in our heads, we believe we have awesome ideas - and everyone should listen. And so we talk at people, never paying attention to if anyone cares about what we're saying, or if we're even saying or doing anything relevant. Have you ever heard yourself talk? Chances are that most of time, you are the most interested in what you have to say. Which is fine - I love hearing myself gab. My friends are really great because they just let me talk on and on and on. But there comes a point that we need to realize that other people need to be heard too. And this doesn't only apply to using words. How often are we so busy that we aren't paying attention to the people in our lives? We've got so much going on in our heads, we don't pay attention to people's body language and attitude towards life. We misread other's depression as they're being tired, or decide that because they walk and talk happy, it must be true. We are a self-involved species - ever declaring ourselves kings of a kingdom we can't fully grasp or control (see: Hurricane Katrina and/or Noah's Flood). I believe it to be a human condition to want the most out of life, but in doing so, we step over each other in the process - as if living life is a race we can win or lose. And while, it may be possible to triumph or fail in the game of life, it's wise to realize you need not step over or "beat" anybody else to do it.

So, here's to choosing to love your fellow (wo)man. Here's to trying to be better listener's. Here's to giving people the gifts they actually want. Here's to being selfish to demand what you want (Milkduds, Dr. Pepper, and gift cards) and selfless enough to give up a part of yourself on behalf of others (it's ok mom - I forgive you, my jeans do fit my ass like a glove...)