The semester I graduated college, one of my senior projects was creating a dance work - this means choosing the dancers, making the choreography, choosing the lighting, the costumes, the music - basically everything and anything conceptually and physically that would aid me in the "dance world". Naturally, I chose to create a piece about the process of healing - as that is something I know about. Scraping yourself off the pavement and standing back on your own two feet is never easy, but the best of us do it all the time. That was what my dance was about. (By the way, it rocked...)
We, as seniors about to graduate, had to leave a word of advice for underclassmen about stepping out into the real world. Mine went something along the lines of this: "It's a long journey, so back a big lunch for champions - because that's what you are, a champion." Granted, pretty hokey, and it got a lot of laughs and a lot of rolled eyes, but I meant it. And I think that's where I am right now.
These days, I don't know how to feel about anything. About my dancing, about the job(s) I have to pay the bills (right now I work at a restaurant and do choreography on the side) - I don't how I feel about my life right now. It's all so new, and so different than the black hole that has seem to consume me and the people I have loved in my life. I am having a phenomenal life right now. I get to think about dance (also known as, "the biz") all the time. My body is fully loaded with physical homework as I try to perfect ballet technique. I am forever tired, but forever smiling. People here have really taken to me, and it's been really nice to be me.
And so, I know the destination - I've thought about "making it big" and what kind of person I'll have to be, and the choices I think will be wise to make when that happens. But I'm not that person yet; I'm on the journey to that. And for someone who does a lot of planning, I'm really flying by the seat of my pants right now - and it looks like for the next couple of months. And I guess I trust I'll end up where I think I should - but it's pretty insane not to know what the hell is going to happen, but at the same time, expect it to be something pretty fucking great. I am inspired, and excited, and astounded that life could have ever taken such a turn.
I think, if you are reading this, know that I trust where I am right now. And when you get to a place where you have to take it day by day, and all you can do is pray it'll be better - it's ok not to know what the fuck is going on. Trust where you're at. I think that as long as you stay positive, but still do what you need to to take care of yourself and your own - you'll come out on top.
So here's to eating some of that big lunch we packed for champions - because I think you'd agree - we are indeed, champions.
2.24.2008
2.16.2008
Teamwork makes The Dream work
So today what I want to discuss - is Teamwork. Teamwork, being one's support system (i.e. close friends and family). I affectionately refer to these people as my inner circle. These are the people who know pretty much everything about me: past, present, and future (as generally, they possess the foresight to see how I'm going to deal with upcoming situations.) I think that in living a life that fulfills all that one wants, it's important to realize that you are only as good as your team of people. In the months I had sold my soul to a cubicle, I hold these people responsible for keeping me sane and strengthen. I have the best inner circle praying can buy - and everyday I feel sincere gratitude to have the kind of people I do, helping me manage my life. They rock.
In the past week, I have spoken to pretty much all of the major players, with exception to a very few. I am the major initiator of most of my relationships, (a) because I like to control what stays in and stays out of my life, and (b) because I know I am truly lost without people telling me to get over myself and do whatever it is that I need to do maintain balance. I have friends who aren't afraid to question my motives or my ideas. These people are also always more than willing to give their endless ear as I desperately verbally recount my life choices. These people have lent me their car when I had no mode of transportation, but had work; they have let me crash on their couches and beds for days on end without telling me to get lost; they have given me money to keep me from being hungry and also made sure that I'm not made out of social activities because I couldn't afford it. This was key for me when I was putting myself through school. My friends would always say, "don't worry about the bill, just come out with us, we'll cover you." If you have a support system like this than you probably know the gratitude I feel. If you don't have a support system like this - it behooves you to get to know kind-hearted, intelligent people. If you feel a bit envious, you should - teamwork is what makes the dream work.
In Good to Great by Jim Collins, Collins recounts several companies that started out as pretty decent business endeavors that shot up to become the leading companies in their respected fields. These companies include Kroger, Walgreens, Pitney-Bowes, and the like. It's an excellent read, I sincerely recommend it. He has many awesome ideas backed up by extensive research. (Seriously, Google him or visit his website.) His first idea about business though is so prevalent to this idea of an awesome support system. He calls it "getting the right people on the bus." Basically, he infers that great companies have great people working for them, and that before these companies came up with what would make them allstars (like before Kroger thought about becoming a mass supermarket or Walgreens thought about becoming the most convenient place to shop 365 days a year) - they first spent their energy getting good people on the bus. Collins says, "these companies didn't know where where the bus was headed, but with the right people, it generally could go some place great". And so it is with my inner circle.
On the onset of the nine months I spent at home not dancing, trying to salvage my broken life, and saving to make my move to Arkansas, I was afflicted with the falling out of a good friend of mine. It was horrible, we didn't speak to each other for eight of those nine months - and in those nine months, I personally was going through a whole bunch of crap (my grandfather passed, my dream looked as if it was dying, I felt extremely caged, etc..). At first, I was just angry, and content holding the anger.But I kept realizing that she was good people, and that for me, it was best to let go of my frustration and be patient until time healed our wounds. It was a lot of work... like a lot... like I was having rage attacks that would hit me out of nowhere. But I held on to the love of friendship, and I proud to still include her in my inner circle, even after our spat.
As I continue this journey, I am meeting many people, and finding that I have a gift for connecting with people almost instantly. This rocks, because if people who meet me face to face like me, maybe the public will also take to me (and that would be awesome for the career). I do want to share with people who read what I have say that I think that "getting the right people on the bus" is the best thing anybody can do for themselves. Surrounding yourself with people who are emotionally balanced, intelligent, intuitive, ambitious in their own right, and kind is super smart - especially since some of those great qualities rub off. I would not be anything without my people - and if they are reading this - I hope your smiling knowing I'm talking about you!
In the past week, I have spoken to pretty much all of the major players, with exception to a very few. I am the major initiator of most of my relationships, (a) because I like to control what stays in and stays out of my life, and (b) because I know I am truly lost without people telling me to get over myself and do whatever it is that I need to do maintain balance. I have friends who aren't afraid to question my motives or my ideas. These people are also always more than willing to give their endless ear as I desperately verbally recount my life choices. These people have lent me their car when I had no mode of transportation, but had work; they have let me crash on their couches and beds for days on end without telling me to get lost; they have given me money to keep me from being hungry and also made sure that I'm not made out of social activities because I couldn't afford it. This was key for me when I was putting myself through school. My friends would always say, "don't worry about the bill, just come out with us, we'll cover you." If you have a support system like this than you probably know the gratitude I feel. If you don't have a support system like this - it behooves you to get to know kind-hearted, intelligent people. If you feel a bit envious, you should - teamwork is what makes the dream work.
In Good to Great by Jim Collins, Collins recounts several companies that started out as pretty decent business endeavors that shot up to become the leading companies in their respected fields. These companies include Kroger, Walgreens, Pitney-Bowes, and the like. It's an excellent read, I sincerely recommend it. He has many awesome ideas backed up by extensive research. (Seriously, Google him or visit his website.) His first idea about business though is so prevalent to this idea of an awesome support system. He calls it "getting the right people on the bus." Basically, he infers that great companies have great people working for them, and that before these companies came up with what would make them allstars (like before Kroger thought about becoming a mass supermarket or Walgreens thought about becoming the most convenient place to shop 365 days a year) - they first spent their energy getting good people on the bus. Collins says, "these companies didn't know where where the bus was headed, but with the right people, it generally could go some place great". And so it is with my inner circle.
On the onset of the nine months I spent at home not dancing, trying to salvage my broken life, and saving to make my move to Arkansas, I was afflicted with the falling out of a good friend of mine. It was horrible, we didn't speak to each other for eight of those nine months - and in those nine months, I personally was going through a whole bunch of crap (my grandfather passed, my dream looked as if it was dying, I felt extremely caged, etc..). At first, I was just angry, and content holding the anger.But I kept realizing that she was good people, and that for me, it was best to let go of my frustration and be patient until time healed our wounds. It was a lot of work... like a lot... like I was having rage attacks that would hit me out of nowhere. But I held on to the love of friendship, and I proud to still include her in my inner circle, even after our spat.
As I continue this journey, I am meeting many people, and finding that I have a gift for connecting with people almost instantly. This rocks, because if people who meet me face to face like me, maybe the public will also take to me (and that would be awesome for the career). I do want to share with people who read what I have say that I think that "getting the right people on the bus" is the best thing anybody can do for themselves. Surrounding yourself with people who are emotionally balanced, intelligent, intuitive, ambitious in their own right, and kind is super smart - especially since some of those great qualities rub off. I would not be anything without my people - and if they are reading this - I hope your smiling knowing I'm talking about you!
2.08.2008
Island Jumping
It's like you've been stranded on an island, and you finally get the balls to believe you might be able to string up a raft and set sail for the next prosperous island over. So finally, after spending a lot of time of mulling it over in your brain, you finally decide to trust your vision of grandeur. And in doing so, you begin to abandon your life as you know it, and before you know it, everything has changed and you are surfing in unfamiliar waters, and while you imagine yourself getting over to the next island over, you stop paddling long enough to realize that you're too far from the shore to turn back, and to keep going means to basically exhaust all your efforts: mentally, physically, and spiritually. And then the terror washes over you, and I know how you feel - we're probably thinking the same thought... "Oh Shit..."
This is where I am at. I have done the unthinkable: picked up my life and moved to pursue the dream. But as the novelty from the success of my big move wears off, I am now at the point where I can see clearly how much fucking work I have ahead of me. And yes, there are now many times a day when I think to myself, "what the fuck have I gotten myself into?"
To be a dancer requires an extreme knowledge of what the human body can do. This knowledge doesn't just include understanding the muscles, it is much more intimate than that. Your job as a dancer becomes understanding what your muscles can do. Dancers ask themselves, how high can I lift my leg and with what quality of movement? (One day I will explain what quality of movement means.) A dancer's job entails knowing when and with what force they'll need to soar through the air. What does it mean to have the strength to this. It's a series of endless questions that eludes most dancers all the time. Throw another person in there, like a partner, and it becomes utter chaos as the dancer's job becomes to not only "get" their body, but the other person's body as well. Yep, it's as hard as it sounds...
So that's where I'm at. But it's cool, helps me realize I'm human. Helps me tone down all the excitement of all that's happening, and center myself and focus. I do have a lot of work to do - but that's ok. My take on living is this: we all have to spend each day doing something - generally working our asses off. I think it wise to work not for your job, not just to pay the bills, or feed the kids, but to really make the work about setting up yourself to be happy (and hopefully, paying the bills and feeding the kiddos also makes you happy). I think that at the end of this, I will have done myself a great service. And no matter how much works it takes... isn't it worth it?
This is where I am at. I have done the unthinkable: picked up my life and moved to pursue the dream. But as the novelty from the success of my big move wears off, I am now at the point where I can see clearly how much fucking work I have ahead of me. And yes, there are now many times a day when I think to myself, "what the fuck have I gotten myself into?"
To be a dancer requires an extreme knowledge of what the human body can do. This knowledge doesn't just include understanding the muscles, it is much more intimate than that. Your job as a dancer becomes understanding what your muscles can do. Dancers ask themselves, how high can I lift my leg and with what quality of movement? (One day I will explain what quality of movement means.) A dancer's job entails knowing when and with what force they'll need to soar through the air. What does it mean to have the strength to this. It's a series of endless questions that eludes most dancers all the time. Throw another person in there, like a partner, and it becomes utter chaos as the dancer's job becomes to not only "get" their body, but the other person's body as well. Yep, it's as hard as it sounds...
So that's where I'm at. But it's cool, helps me realize I'm human. Helps me tone down all the excitement of all that's happening, and center myself and focus. I do have a lot of work to do - but that's ok. My take on living is this: we all have to spend each day doing something - generally working our asses off. I think it wise to work not for your job, not just to pay the bills, or feed the kids, but to really make the work about setting up yourself to be happy (and hopefully, paying the bills and feeding the kiddos also makes you happy). I think that at the end of this, I will have done myself a great service. And no matter how much works it takes... isn't it worth it?
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