The Journey

The semester I graduated college, one of my senior projects was creating a dance work - this means choosing the dancers, making the choreography, choosing the lighting, the costumes, the music - basically everything and anything conceptually and physically that would aid me in the "dance world". Naturally, I chose to create a piece about the process of healing - as that is something I know about. Scraping yourself off the pavement and standing back on your own two feet is never easy, but the best of us do it all the time. That was what my dance was about. (By the way, it rocked...)

We, as seniors about to graduate, had to leave a word of advice for underclassmen about stepping out into the real world. Mine went something along the lines of this: "It's a long journey, so back a big lunch for champions - because that's what you are, a champion." Granted, pretty hokey, and it got a lot of laughs and a lot of rolled eyes, but I meant it. And I think that's where I am right now.

These days, I don't know how to feel about anything. About my dancing, about the job(s) I have to pay the bills (right now I work at a restaurant and do choreography on the side) - I don't how I feel about my life right now. It's all so new, and so different than the black hole that has seem to consume me and the people I have loved in my life. I am having a phenomenal life right now. I get to think about dance (also known as, "the biz") all the time. My body is fully loaded with physical homework as I try to perfect ballet technique. I am forever tired, but forever smiling. People here have really taken to me, and it's been really nice to be me.

And so, I know the destination - I've thought about "making it big" and what kind of person I'll have to be, and the choices I think will be wise to make when that happens. But I'm not that person yet; I'm on the journey to that. And for someone who does a lot of planning, I'm really flying by the seat of my pants right now - and it looks like for the next couple of months. And I guess I trust I'll end up where I think I should - but it's pretty insane not to know what the hell is going to happen, but at the same time, expect it to be something pretty fucking great. I am inspired, and excited, and astounded that life could have ever taken such a turn.

I think, if you are reading this, know that I trust where I am right now. And when you get to a place where you have to take it day by day, and all you can do is pray it'll be better - it's ok not to know what the fuck is going on. Trust where you're at. I think that as long as you stay positive, but still do what you need to to take care of yourself and your own - you'll come out on top.

So here's to eating some of that big lunch we packed for champions - because I think you'd agree - we are indeed, champions.